Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Celebrity Baby Names

I think now would be a good time to start classifying 'fame' as an actual illness. Now I'm sure this may not apply to everyone, but I'm quite certain I'm not the only who's noticed that when celebrities have children, the whole world seems to simultaneously take a very deep breath, like this *GASP*. Of course, at first we're all just like 'OMG they're having a babeeee that's sooo ADORABLE!!' but then there's that niggling thought at the back of your brain... the name. Fact is, celebrities have a tendency to choose quite unusual names for their children. And by unusual I mean the kind that, if a normal child had them, they would most likely get beaten up in the playground. And so, to celebrate the most recent addition to this group, Beyonce and Jay-Z's first little one Ivy Blue (who got off quite easy considering) I present, the top 10 wackiest celebrity baby names:

#1 Sage Moonblood Son of Sylvester Stallone -  if it wasn't bad enough by itself, the recent vampire-mania (blame Twilight) is definitely going to bite (geddit? :P) this kid in the ass. I bet he'll be dreading Hallowe'en for years to come

#2 Petal Blossom Rainbow Daughter of Jamie Oliver - considering her parents probably weren't alive during the 1960s, there really is no excuse. I just hope she becomes a punk when she's older

#3 Ireland Daughter of Alec Baldwin -  Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of all things from the Emerald Isle, but this is just taking it too far

#4 Phinnaeus Walter Son of Julia Walters - Not sure why, but this seems to remind me of Harry Potter. Hmmmm, oh well. At least he can shorten his to the relatively common 'Finn'

#5 Zuma Nesta Rock Son of Gwen Stefani - fairly sure Zuma is a brand of orange juice. Nuff said.

#6 Harper Seven Daughter of Posh and Becks - a) this sounds like a ship from Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica and b) why the seven? she's only their fourth(?) child!

#7 Apple Daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow - when asked why she chose to name her daughter after a piece of fruit, even she seemed at a bit of a loss

#8 Princess Tiaamii Daughter of Katie Price and Peter Andre - So many things wrong I won't even start. But on the plus side, apparently Katie's been talking about giving Princess botox, so her name will probably be the least of her worries :D

#9 Jermajesty Son of Jermaine Jackson - Naming kids after royalty, obviously a sign of the humbled individual...

#10 Dweezil Son of Frank Zappa - Other Zappa baby names include Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Diva Muffin and Moon Unit, but I ran out of space! 

And the moral of the story is, sometimes people do crazy things, without good reason. Hopefully most people will just stick to buying an overly expensive pair of shoes, as opposed to something which will affect someone for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!

xoxo Miss B

p.s. Here's a cute pic of a random baby, to balance out the crazy